I just realized that Lord of the Rings is a waste of time. It has no point, no meaning, and no worth. I've got better things to do with my energy. Like watching North and South. Now there's a movie with real value! It doesn't have characters which make you shudder. No fancy prancing blond elves for me! You know, this discovery could very well be life-changing. I do believe I will be much better off now that I'm getting rid of every LotR themed item I have in my house. It might take me awhile to detox, but I'm ready to change my life, and turn it around. Does anyone else want to join me in this LotR rehab program? I need encouragement to press on with my convictions! Forward! No more shall I look at my BFF with that smug little smirk when anything even slightly resembles a LotR quote...no more! And I shall soon press upon her my own convictions.
I am quite disgusted with myself. Thinking that at one time I tolerated the flowing locks of blond hair, and the appalling acrobatics of that elven showoff! To think that at one time my heart was touched with the story of Sam and Frodo. Really? Hobbits? Gandalf must have been most wicked to send poor little hobbits off alone to their deaths! And Arwen! Some have told me before that she look retarded...At the time I denied it, but now... She is not only retarded, but she was insane! I mean, who in their right mind would give up immortality for love? Think of the message we're giving the young people of this age! No!
I will no longer see any good in even Samwise Gamgee. Surely he must have done everything out of selfish motives! And hidden selfishness is more dangerous than obvious selfishness. I mean, what would come of this world if everyone loved LotR and tried to be more like Sam! It would be disastrous! I would venture to go farther than that...what if people came away from LotR with the message that there is hope no matter how far gone others may think you are. No. I am sure LotR has destroyed my way of thinking. It has polluted my mind, and caused me to embrace heretical ideas. So I am going to erase all memories of Rings and Hobbits from my mind, no matter how much joy they used to give me. I am resolved.
~Mongoo
I am quite disgusted with myself. Thinking that at one time I tolerated the flowing locks of blond hair, and the appalling acrobatics of that elven showoff! To think that at one time my heart was touched with the story of Sam and Frodo. Really? Hobbits? Gandalf must have been most wicked to send poor little hobbits off alone to their deaths! And Arwen! Some have told me before that she look retarded...At the time I denied it, but now... She is not only retarded, but she was insane! I mean, who in their right mind would give up immortality for love? Think of the message we're giving the young people of this age! No!
I will no longer see any good in even Samwise Gamgee. Surely he must have done everything out of selfish motives! And hidden selfishness is more dangerous than obvious selfishness. I mean, what would come of this world if everyone loved LotR and tried to be more like Sam! It would be disastrous! I would venture to go farther than that...what if people came away from LotR with the message that there is hope no matter how far gone others may think you are. No. I am sure LotR has destroyed my way of thinking. It has polluted my mind, and caused me to embrace heretical ideas. So I am going to erase all memories of Rings and Hobbits from my mind, no matter how much joy they used to give me. I am resolved.
~Mongoo
I will certainly join you in this! I am sorry to hear that you were ever a fan, I feel so sorry for you. I've never read the books, because I kept falling aleep. They're just so dull! But my friends forced me to watch some of the movies, and when I wasn't falling asleep I wanted to throw up. Total waste of time. Those people aren't my friends anymore, for obvious reasons... but it doesn't matter now that I've found you!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteI can't believe how so many people actually like this stuff. Besides being dull and pointless, it's actually evil. Everyone knows magic is evil, and all magic books are of the devil. lord of the rings is a magic book, so it's of the devil too!!!!!! the old wizard guy is the worst of them all, as you said, leading hobbits to die (even though the hobbits deserved it like Sam, for having selfish motives, and Frodo, for being so ugly, and the other two for being stupid and looking the same), but the wizard is also evil for using magic!!
like I said, I was never a fan, so I don't have any lord of he rings or hobbit stuff to get rid of, but I have friends -- excuse me, FORMER friends -- who do! I am on a mission -- call it a crusade, if you like. Yeah, that sounds good -- to get rid of their LOTR garbage and help them see the light. I've already gotten all the lotr books and movies from our library and dumped them in a muddy creek, so nobody else can be led astray.
KEEP IT UP!!! LET'S SPREAD THE RESISTINCE!!!! DOWN WITH LOTR!!!!1!!
~~~ your adoring, admiring, loving, bestest, #1 fangir in the universe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
(u go girly!!!!!!!)
Yeah, LotR is disgusting. I simply cannot stand it. The Elves are really weird and wimpy, and the dwarves... eeww, their awful braids! Kili is definitely the worst. Those crazy people who think he's handsome... :P
ReplyDeleteGood stand for what's right! These movies and books for a WASTE OF TIME and should never be given a second thought. Let's raise awareness about the evils of this popular trilogy!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I would not go with North and South either-the actor who plays Mr. Thornton also plays Thorin in the Hobbit. Just thought I'd let you know.